Urgent Safety Announcement

The manufacturer would like to make an urgent safety announcement.Please be advised that a defect has been identified near the “Central Processing Unit” of the brain. (CPU for short) During commissioning the Chief Engineer designed a bypass valve next to the CPU. This valve was a safety initiative installed as a  measure to alleviate undue stress on the CPU during the construction phases of the humanoid. The parent unit and the religious institutions were responsible for the initial data download, to avoid unnecessary data duplication and the infection of viruses the bypass valve was installed to move information quickly to the output rack where a response, pre-determined by the aforementioned institutions, would be activated. The safety of the immature humanoid was the primary objective. Once the humanoid is fully constructed this bypass valve is meant to switch from automatic operating mode to manual mode. Due to incorrect operating procedures this changeover mechanism has seized in many current models. The manufacturer would like to stress that this is an extremely dangerous situation. Data is meant to transfer into the CPU for processing and a response initiated according to manufacturer’s specifications. If this data continues to follow the bypass route and initiating unchecked responses untold damage can be done.
As a product recall is still in progress certain measures can be taken to minimize the risk of damage:
Identify the triggers – The valve is actuated by various triggers, these are difficult to identify in your own CPU but with a bit of practice it gets easier. Perhaps try identifying the triggers in others and then apply the same process on own CPU.
How does this work?
In a safe environment like a “home group” try bringing up some trigger words and take note of the varied automatic responses. The words “homosexual” and “women’s ordination” are generally good triggers to try. It is important to note the feelings that follow these triggers. They are varied but because a safety mechanism has been deployed, feelings of fear, insecurity or perhaps anger may be present. It is important to realize at this moment that you are not in any danger. Divert the triggers back into the CPU for evaluation, activate the love filter and process the information according to facts and manufacturers specifications* –  avoiding the virus of  inappropriate  and harmful automated responses . Misinformation and incorrect data can thus be identified and dealt with without harming your or anyone else’s CPU.Please be patient, the manufacturer will call you in for a full overhaul in His perfect timing.
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* I thought I had better add an asterix to the term “manufacturers specifications” as this is a misused term in the context of Christianity. I explored this in my poem “The Map” if your interested have a read. There are many books out there, that use the Bible to extensively lay out the God ordained principles by which we must operate. I am particularly thinking about books that talk about the roles of women, marriage and homosexuality.
Law was never the way that life was meant to be lived and the Bible which is great at pointing us to Jesus is not so good with social justice issues, science etc. It was never meant to be. Talking about the Bible in this way may initiate responses like I mentioned in the safety announcement above – we are taught from Sunday school age up (construction phases of the humanoid)  that the Bible is a map and a manual and a moral compass – it may come as a shock but it is none of these things.  To reduce God’s Word to principles in a book that must be followed or else, is not the way of Christ.
 
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Comments
2 Responses to “Urgent Safety Announcement”
  1. lcamyopinion says:

    I love this piece.

    *Perhaps try identifying the triggers in others and then apply the same process on own CPU.*

    I really wish more people would do this. I see soooo many people who have great difficulty with the second part. …

    Whats that? How am I going with that? How well do I apply the process to myself??

    MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS YOU BIBLE DENYING, GOSPEL REDUCTIONIST, HERETIC!

    (Keep up the good work Tapman)

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